Self vs Self

It's a battle between himself.
A fight to dominate one being.
A war to control a person.
An abomination for both of it.

New year?

Hmm?
I don't feel anything at all.
And no , I'm gonna make some stupid new year target , shit or what ever.

It doesn't end that well. But at least it went well last year. Right?
No...
I'm afraid on what's gonna happened next.
I'm not really sure what's really gonna happened.

But..

I could only wish one thing right now.
I wish that everything.
Will.
Be.
Fine.

Insert Title

From 'A' till 'Z'.
From one till infinity. 
From born till death. 
From start till the end.

It's okay.

It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.

It's okay Zim.
It's okay...

You will be fine.
It's okay.
Everything will end soon.
It's okay....
Don't worry okay?
Everthing is gonna be fine.
Trust me okay?
It's all gonna be okay.
Just hang in there.
It's okay!!

It's okay...........................

None

"Am I important to anybody?
Am I that kind of person that important to someone?

Am I really a loser? Useless? Boring?

Why? Why? What the hell do you want?

I don't get it. I seriously don't fucking get it."

This just change the way I think about myself.
Is it really worth it?
Is it gonna give any benefeit on me?
I think not. But for others? Yes.
But they don't appreciate it.

And they hurt me a lot.

I'm sorry

Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I'm really , really sorry.

Please forgive me.

I'm sorry for being a loser.
I'm sorry for being an annoying person.
I'm sorry for being a cunt whore.
I'm sorry for being a jerk.
I'm sorry for being a creeper.

I'm sorry , I'm sorry , I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

Please.





30/11/2014

A wise words

"Never let your
management, 
label, 
lawyer, 
accountant, 
bank account, 
YouTube comments
or otherwise dictate your vision. 
Take nothing seriously , especially not yourself. 

Hold your colour. "

 - Rob Swire

Afraid

I'm afraid to ask.
I'm afraid to tell.
I'm afraid to share.
I'm afraid to express.
I'm afraid to reveal.

I'm afraid of the response.
I'm afraid of what people would say.
I'm afraid of what people would think.
I'm afraid.

A deep down into a shithole.

"Hei , urm ... are you busy?"

"No , why ? "

"Urm , I'm kinda stuck"

"Stuck? What's wrong?"

"I don't know. Can you pick me up?"

"Sure. But , where are you right now?"

"I'm not quite sure. I'm too far gone right now. It's pretty dark around here"

"You don't know where you are?"

"Yeah... sort of. I don't even know how I get here in the first place. I really need someone to pick me
up. Or at least just take me away from this place."

"I don't understand. Can you tell me where you are exactly right know?"

"I've told you. I don't know. I'm kinda lost  right now. I don't know where to go. I can't see anything."

"Are you ok? Look , just don't do anything or go anywhere alright? Just stay there till I get someone to help."

"Hmmm , ok. But , for how long? I really wanna get out of this place. Just take me out of here please."

"Hei hei , calm down. Everything gonna be ... "

"Fine? Yeah , that what I kept saying to myself. Everthing gonna be fine yada yada bla bla ."

"Like I said , everything gonna be fine. You just need to calm down. I'll get some help ok?"

"Hmmm , if you say so. But please be hurry."

Hope.

Patiently wait for it. And still doing it.
There's still some hope. Even though it doesn't.
I can only dream about it. I can only think about it. But not experience it.
I still put my hope high in the sky. Even though I already fell a lot of time.

I really want it. I really do.
I really want to live as I wished and dreamt.
I really want to feel it. To see it. To believe it that it's happening.
I really do.

But...

All the effort.
All the patience.
All the time.
All the hope.
All of them.

Shattered into pieces by pieces . Slowly and painfully.

Desperate.
Dull.
Darkness.
Emptiness.
Sorrow.
Nothing.

I can only stay numb and silence.
Let the surrounding fill the emptiness with ambiance.

There's nothing more.
Only time will soon tell the secret.
The secret that I've been waiting.

Nobody will ever know.
Nobody......

Not even a person with a broken heart.
Not even a person with faithless hope.

Just no one. No one.


-=End=- 21:32 06/11/2014.



















I love you.

Flower and Rat

Flower and rat.

Two things.
Two living things.
Two different living things.

One that's admired by people.
And one that disgusted by people.

People are chasing for it.
So do the other 'it'.

Never show yourself.

Never show yourself too much.
Never expose yourself too much.
Never tell them about yourself too much.
Never tell them your secret too much.

Cover yourself.
Find a place to hide.
Don't let them see you.
Don't let them know who you are.

Never show yourself.

Not yet.

It's too early. I know.
I'm gonna for a couple of years.
Or maybe just for one year.

But still...
It's too early.
I'm gonna let everything cool down first.
And then I'll make a move.

But still...
It's too early.
Maybe I should just wait until the time is right.
and then I'll make a move.

But still......

Un-explain feeling?

A colourful season,

A colourful flower,
expanding like it is no other.

A nice atmosphere,

A nice surroundings,

hoping it will last forever.

Unforgettable moment,

unforgettable  joyfulness,

and happiness.

Nothing can't describe it,

and nothing will.

23:14 , 31/10/2014

-End-

Laziness strike again

Just as I though , I'm getting lazy on writing stuff on this blogs.

Probably because I don't have that much of a time to write something interesting.

Let it go?

It's hard to let go something that you're really attached to....
Something that you know that you will never find something that's the same as it is.
Something that is too valuable for you.
Something that is very important for you.
Something that you can't easily forget about it.

and something that you really love.

Old problem part 2

Things doesn't really go exactly as I though.
I though that "thing" will go far far away forever.
But it's not...............


Let just hope that this "thing" will go away.

Old problems.

I really though that it will gone forever.

I really wish it is. 

But those things doesn't end like that.

Its coming back. And I'm afraid. 

Afraid that it might ruin my life for a 2nd time.

Really wish it would stop.

Changes

I changed a lot over the past 3-5 years.
Yes , I do changed a lot , both inside and out.
By change I mean in a good way of course.

I don't really exactly know how these thing happen ,
but I think I can related it to some of my past life.


Urmm , about my past life , it's not something that I would want to share to everybody because........ it's pretty fucked up... and I don't feel like telling a story about it.

So yeah...

First post?

Hello to fellow readers.
Since this is gonna be my first post, so...

Where should I start?

I think I should just start with basic introduction :)

My name is K-zim and yes , K-zim is my nickname.

I'm 1* years old (For now). Was born in some month . Currently live in Nowhere Land.

So... I guess that's pretty much everything for the introduction right?

Well I guess it is...

May it be a good start for me to write on this blog.

:)